FIRSTBORN
A poem to Johnny

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Photo by Javier Reyes on Unsplash

I may not understand the way you view the world
And I could never know what your losses in life have felt like
But here is what I do know:

For all the complicated things
We find so impossible to speak
For all the misunderstandings
That cause the gaps in our speech

I just really want you to know and understand
What an enormous love I have for you
Too big to voice
And so very grand

I love you with all of my heart
I’m so sorry we just seem to tear each other apart
When there is nothing in this world
I would rather do
Than hold you and protect you

You will always have my love and my heart
And no matter how close or far apart we are
I’ll never change the way I feel for you

Forgive me for the unintentional things that I have done
Things that broke your heart
Because all the while my intentions
Were only to have you make your mark

To have you embark on a journey
that would teach you to see you as you really are,…
And how I see you

You are as big as the wide open sky
That you seem to take in wholeheartedly with great blue wide open eyes
Incredible, your love for life, your exuberance
The way you see deep into a person

What a kind and tender boy you are
One who struggles desperately to run ahead of the past
I love you, son
In ways you’ll never know

This mother will never let you go
You must know how deeply, how completely
I love you
No matter what

No one could ever take your place
No one has ever taken your place,
My precious firstborn son

Nurse, writer: medical, family, addiction and wellness. See my blog flourishmedicinehealthandaddiction.com. Published Amazon author: Of Death and Brokenness…

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