Leaving A Story Undone
As so many writing parents can contend, I lament over the fact that I have so little precious real time to sit and write on any given day. Amid doctor’s appointments for my son and daughter and especially for my grandbaby, I do not usually get started until noon or after and have to address my attention, in between words on a page, to excessive, precariously uninvited interruptions such as the following:
The dog. He is 11 and I think he has an (over) eating disorder besides being borderline personality dysfunctional.
Phone calls I do not want to take, but have to…think annoying school loan representatives and wrong numbers for someone who owned your phone number a decade ago.
The weird neighbor across the street who wants to show me his Navy leave papers. Why? You are 58. And I do not like you one bit. This is not An Officer and A Gentleman. There IS no sex send off, man.
The son of mine who is a recovering addict who plopped on the couch at midnight, and again won’t leave to go back to the sober house and trashed my house in the 2 hours I was gone with appointments this morning. His leg is hanging over the couch, he is in a coma-like sleep state, and I want to hit him.
Is that wrong? Don’t care.
He also threw and lost the wifi mouse computer connector thing so I have to henpeck the keyboard with one finger to “scroll.” I am technologically disadvantaged anyway, so this is devastating to my writing day.
I am still upset that I asked my grandbaby (remember I am his Momma) last night why he has been preferring my older son to me lately (not usually a question to ask of a 3 year old, but my feelings were hurt) and you know what he said? Matter of factly?
“Because you are old.”
I also had to deal with a legal matter yesterday that is still heavy on my mind today concerning the grandbaby’s biological mother’s very abusive family member and I am just worn out and traumatized from the whole thing.
My car is all messed up and I have no money to fix it.
Wait a minute. I have to one finger arrow upscroll to make sure I spelled everything correctly.
I wanted to take the tiny bit of time I had this day and write, but I just can’t find it today. I don’t like anyone or anything and I want to hide.
I am going to go take a walk and then wash my car and vacuum up the incredulous amount of french fries staked out under my carseats and 4 month old vanilla wafers that grin and sneer at me each morning I get into the car.
Here’s hoping I don’t get a ticket for the out of date tags.
I have said I am a clean freak, but I’ve let this one go awhile out of sheer fatigue. I am tired.
And my heart hurts.